I’m a work in progress. I am definitely a parent in process. Turns out, parenting, just like life, will put a bend in life where you thought a straight line was. And if you don’t have your crystal ball out, you just might tumble off the road for a beat or two.
My latest “bend” was my daughter turning 2. I know, those infamous terrible twos, that parents vaguely warn you about while muttering under their breaths and shaking their heads. Although I don’t think it’s as much “terrible” as it is “challenging,” I’ve become one of those parents, stupefied, defeated, lost. No, not lost. In progress.
My wonderful amazing infant/toddler suddenly became a wonderful amazing toddler/child and while that’s a wonderful amazing thing (it really is!) it’s also like – totally new everything. A more independent, more aware, more involved, more active, more vocal, more more. Which: Yay! And also: OMG.
And it’s hard to remember this littler being is still quite little and should be quite dependent upon me, especially when she’s clinging to me while I’m trying to cook dinner or conversely running away from my sunlotion-ladened hands. Because sometimes I find myself thinking, with her being so much more everything, that she should also be more understanding, more able to play independently, or more able to fall asleep on her own.
It’s not all challenging, of course. But it’s definitely all consuming me, in my effort to remain the type of parent I strive to be. I don’t want to yell (I do), I don’t want to be frustrated (oh yeah), I don’t want to be anything but in love with her. But, hey, I am large, I contain multiples – so does Pip – we all do.
I have to remind myself to forgive myself, for not having gotten the hang of this yet. And to lay off myself- why should I have the hang of this, when it’s all new, just like every day in life is new? And that I’m doing the best I can, and that Pip is happy and healthy and loved and perfect, really. As am I.
So, that’s where I’ve been. Realizing (again) that I’m a parent in progress. And that that is pretty special, too.
I’ve also been in my garden, lucky me. :)
“But, hey, I am large, I contain multiples”
When you put it that way…sounds like you may be pregnant with triplets!
haha I can see that on a maternity Tshirt!
Every new stage throws a parent through a loop. Hope you two adjust quickly. Yesterday at the dentist, my hygienist said that she has a daughter who just turned 3, and my daughter will turn 3 next month. She said that the two’s were hard and that her three year old is now just delightful. I personally wouldn’t say that the past year has been “terrible”, but if I had to pin point a challenging part, it would be the time from 2 to 2 1/2 with all those car seat tantrums. I actually (accidentally) locked her into the car because of one tantrum, *sigh*. But I firmly agree with you, parenting is a work in progress, challenging at times, but when dealing with another human being, nothing is easy.
Thanks for your kind words! It helps to know I’m not the only one who struggles at times!